Greetings all – I made it home safely from my trip to Kansas to visit my parents and wanted to share some photos from the farm. This is where we visited my grandparents when I was little and where my parents retired.
My great great grandparents settled here in a one room cabin in the 1880’s. So many of the stories my Grandma Naomi told were about their lives here. The woods surrounding the clearing are Blackjack Oak and Cedar. Local farming of wheat and corn supports an abundance of wildlife. In the old days stores from their crops of corn sustained them through the long winters, eaten as cornmeal mush. Grandma said that when winter times were hard, reeds and grasses were boiled into sorghum syrup to sell or trade for other provisions.
I had a good visit. Mother remembered me while I was there, though 10-20 seconds was the length of repeated conversations. She’s anxious to speak to anyone over the phone, so just being silently present as someone she recognized as family was the blessing of the experience. Her greatest struggle is forgetting her life, and the bonds that insure SHE will never be abandoned.
Though, Mom was the one who noticed the deer grazing on the morning I left, and that the fullness of her belly indicated a gestation well underway… neither Dad and I noticed. She was at her best, taking in the Beauty around her. I saw my first Redbird in a few years – so bright and beautiful, I can see why it was a Sign of Lightning Energy in the sky. I didn’t catch the photo, but sharing a photo found online.
Glad to be home. I gathered a variety of new information that will help me gain greater insight on my childhood experience. There were ups and downs. I learned that the sternness of my Dad still exists, though I was able to see that it has nothing to do with me. His character was formed through challenging times. I understand why feelings were not so important in his “old days,” only survival. It’s not the relationship I would dream of, yet there Were Moments of Real Beauty between us. There were Moments of Agreement and Understanding, Moments of being Seen, and Moments of sharing details of his childhood that I never knew. Dad’s lessons always were hard. LOL Today, I am conscious enough to not MISS the Moment, because I was unconsciously dwelling on the last crummy thing he said. :)) He’s a great guy. He offered a lifetime of love to my Mother. He took care of me and raised me up. He loves me. I can love him as he is.
I pray for all our Grandfathers and Grandmothers and the great challenge of growing old. Because they are Wiser, they seldom share all the details of the daily struggle. I saw it first hand.. the effort to move, carry on. My parents highly value their privacy and are insistent on maintaining their status quo on their own at 90/91. To get away with it, they don’t share the details! (I wasn’t really encouraged by the circumstances.) At least, 2 siblings live on either corner.
I choose to see their reckless youth, the same Consciousness of Thought that is eternal. They struck out to elope on April Fools day 73 years ago, heading toward an opportunity. Dad retold the story of living on canned pork and beans, while he completed mechanical training.
The greatest wisdom they shared was not exchanged by words, but in seeing the future. There is so much time yet to accomplish a dream, so many opportunities to be transformed. I gained new respect for the value of my time.
I pray for the Divine Justice that when we all reunite in spirit, both my family and yours, our joy will be so great, we will Know the Truth of Love that was shared as we lived in sorrow we were never conscious of.
much love, in lak’ech,