THE TRECENA OF CROCODILE/IMIX: GERMINATION
On 7 Deer/MANIK the daily journal online reached the end. This is the Beginning, After. I’ll provide links to the daily Journal written the last round, and there are more to find from the search feature. It feels easier to understand as what’s going on, and you can discern the higher perspective that turns it around through the calendar.
My last journal on: 11 Monkey/CHUEN, February 8, 2021
Search “11 Monkey” for more. February 2021 I was dreaming of Life AFTER COVID vaccine, like the end of solitary confinement. We were stopped one more time, to see the BIG PICTURE.
THE BEGINNING, AFTER
Greetings Beloved Kin,
These past days have felt like a primary school lesson, or at least I’m using them that way. Since, AFTER, I was invited by a REAL Human Being to their home. It’s never happened here. (Once I had 50 friends come over for a football party in KC – just sayin. But, I guess I was normal and wholly going along then.)
My back went out – every possible thing that could hold me from walking out the door. Though, we listen and hear one another on the phone. We met long ago through work. Every suggestion we make to each other, is like something the other is excited to know about. We’re the same, but GRATEFUL for our differences we can share. And, SHE sees the cups and saucers at the invisible tea party. A FRIEND. Immediately after. There’s been a couple of emails… but, still hard to fathom.
So, BOTTOM LINE – I’m still afraid to go out the door, evidently. I was given EVERY POSSIBLE excuse – that was real. I’ll spare you the 70 year old archetype who details every physical affliction between me and my cat. The WEIRD one that caught my attention was getting the hair curling blow dryer tangled, SO BAD I thought I’d just have to cut it out. I FELT the “cry and give up” moment coming. Then, I thought, I could turn this into a cycle, with a beginning and an end – that I’m going to push through. So, I decided, I would finish without cutting, however long it took. It was FINISHED.
I knew exactly where to find the address. Same story, different cycle.
I wasn’t so “collected” while this was going on. I was near tears from launch from the bathroom hair incident. In fact, I had to give up 1/2 block before the destination. And when she texted to find me and ask where – I texted back, “at the f@#&ing Community Church.” Then, what have I done. I haven’t had anyone I would allow to hear me do that. What will her husband think of me now? The blessing I found out later, was that they were laughing about it.
I FEEL like I’m in primary school – kindergarden – after 18 months isolation, and 10 years without a physical here BFF kind of friend. I was so afraid of screwing it up… my big chance. (From the outside, I show up like my journals – calm, collected, seem to know what I’m doing. LOLOL